Ha noi - a story of two halves

Nothing prepares you for Ha noi. And I stayed here three years ago, so I knew what to expect. Still, nothing prepares you for Ha noi. After driving down into the old quarter, locating our lodgings and dumping our bags in our extremely nice room for $10 a night, we psyched ourselves up for the excitement and assault to the senses that are unique to this city:

Bikes, scooters in their thousands, pho, noodles, coffins, wooden ladders, fish, canaries, dogs chopped in half, bun cha, cha ca, rats, banh mi, silk, tuk tuks, tourists (which have increased 10-fold since I was last here), bbqs, bia hoi, morning glory, people shouting, people singing, people haggling, tofu, fairy lights, phlegm, more scooters, coffee, sewerage, rucksacks, suitcases, incense, tea, rice and buses, all seem to come at you at once, as soon as you walk out your front door. You can only let yourself be swept up in it and embrace this city's joyous chaos. 

Grab a stool, sit down and watch the world go by!

As the title of this blog suggests we stayed in Ha noi twice: pre Ha long bay and post Ha long bay. Both times we tossed aside any form of agenda and spent our days wandering the streets, dodging traffic, eating as much street food as possible and drinking vast quantities of bia hoi. Yep, for 25 cents a glass you can drink beer that's brewed fresh each day, while chomping down on piles of tofu and morning glory that will set you back $2 a pop. Amazing and ridiculously cheap. 

Food photography? Not my forte...

After several hours watching Ais try to cross the street (not her forte, and I'm the uncoordinated one!), taking in a couple temples and sauntering around the lake, it was time to suss out my favourite Vietnamese dish: cha ca. A Ha noi-ise classic, there are several restaurants that only serve this dish, such is their dedication to this cook-it-yourself specialty. Fish marinated in turmeric, ginger, sugar and soy, then fried in a shallow broth at your table. Add huge quantities of fresh dill and spring onions, then serve over thin rice noodles and accompanied with fresh garlic, chilli and a few teaspoons of fish sauce. Heaven in a bowl and one very happy Lucy. 

The next day we sussed out the national museum, a rather dreary place detailing the anthropological history of the 'great Vietnamese people' (its amazing how many things they invented!). Afterwards we felt a little decadence was in order, so we popped in to the Metropole hotel for a cheeky tom collins. Because SE Asia is so cheap, it's very easy to spoil oneself every now and again, and indulging in the odd cocktail at some grand old colonial hotel has become a bit of a treat we like to do every now and again. We looked like a couple of street urchins wandering through its very well air-conditioned corridors, gaping in wonder at the silk furnishings and having doors opened for us. It felt like the kind of place my mum would have whispered loudly 'don't touch anything', accompanied by a 'I mean it' glare, if I had been six, but I'm not, so I went around stroking chaise lounges with gay abandon. As we lounged by the pool sipping our drinks, Ais pointed out that for the price of our cocktails we could have bought 43 bia hois, each, which dampened the experience slightly and made us remember why we don't frequent 5 star hotels too often. Still, it was nice to play grown-ups for the afternoon before slumming it back in the old town.

That night it was early to bed and early to rise the next day, as we were heading for a boat cruise on Ha long bay.

Which was definitely an experience (soon to be posted in a separate blog). 

But back to Ha noi - part deux. Having missed the worst of the typhoon that may or may not have affected our boat trip, our second experience of Ha noi was certainly more cold and wet than the first. We also swapped our hotel for a hostel (at this stage of the game saving even a couple of dollars is worth it), but in hindsight was probably a mistake, as it was yet another 'party hostel', misrepresented in the Lonely Planet. The first warning bell went off when we were perusing the activities organized by the hostel and came across the 'snake charmer experience', which involved being driven to the edge of town, watching a man split open a very live and writhing snake, watch him pull out its 'still beating heart', which you then eat, before finally downing a shot of snake bile from the inner depths of its digestive system. A fun night out for all the family and involving three of my favourite past-times: animal cruelty, snake hearts and vomit shots. What's not to love? And at $12 a pop a total bargain! 

Our second alarm bell rung later that evening when a young lad came round to each dorm to explain the theme for that nights party. Now, imagine the Aussiest, most bogan accent you can think of. The following conversation went something like this...

"Laydees, what are you doing sitting in your room?"

"Ah, just chilling."

"Well, I'm here to tell you that tonight we're going to have a kick-arse storm party in the street. We're then gonna hit the streets of Ha noi and rip this town a new one!"

"Ok, thanks for letting us know. Why is it called a storm party?"

"Because there's going to be a storm tonight, d'uh."

"Ah, makes sense. Silly me. We'll be sure to avoid, I mean join you later if we see you."

"Ripper!"

No matter how far away from Australia you go, the bogans will find you and draw you away from any cultural experience you might be having. Hasten to say, we did not join in the 'storm' festivities, especially as the wonderful Ben and Alex were in town, and who had just got engaged (congratulations boys!), so our own celebrations were in order. Plus we hadn't seen them since our days in Colombia, so there was plenty of catching up to do. 

Another unexpected catch-up came the next day when we bumped in to the rather wonderful Martin, who was working at the hostel we stayed in Puerto Escondido, right at the start of our adventure. Five months later and walking down the road in Ha noi, it was not a face we expected to see again, and shows just how small this planet really is. Of course beers and merriment ensued, which resulted in us having a Ha noi lock-in and being sneaked out the bar at 2am to avoid the curfew police! 

In true Lucy and Ais form we spent our last day terribly hungover, waiting for a bus that would take us over the border to Laos and on to Luang Prabang. A trip that would take 30 hours and truly test our patience and our ability to sit in one position for what seemed like an eternity. On top of that, we are in

Vietnam, so who knows where we will really end up!